


Lalna Was Not A Doctor

by NickieMoot



Category: The Yogscast
Genre: Frottage, M/M, Minecraft, Smut, Xeno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-08
Updated: 2014-12-08
Packaged: 2018-02-28 15:02:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2736959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NickieMoot/pseuds/NickieMoot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Xephos needs a checkup and Lalna needs a curiosity sated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lalna Was Not A Doctor

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally written a year prior to posting this on ao3. It includes alien!Xephos and human Lalna and focuses on xenobiology. Based on the minecraft personas and taking place in Minecraftia.
> 
> WARNING for descriptions of injuries, though they're not super gore-y or serious.

Lalna was not a doctor. Everyone knew this. But he was the only one who understood enough about anatomy and medical machinery to be useful, so he unofficially took the role whenever it was needed. He didn’t mind since it let him study some of his stranger companions who normally would never let him get close. So naturally when his alien friend Xephos showed up at his lab one day, pale and holding his side, he immediately led him in.

When they got onto the floor that had been hastily set up as a medical lab, Lalna gestured at a metal table in the middle of the room. “Take off your clothes and sit down. What happened?”

“Er…” Xephos hesitated as he shrugged off his jacked and lifted his shirt over his head, dropping them on the floor behind the table. “Well, I can’t really… I-its confidential Yoglabs, uh, business. I just need someone to look at this.” He pulled his pants down his hips a few inches to reveal a large bruise and what appeared to be puncture marks on his right side.

Lalna leaned in closer but he could see the injury was still half covered. He stood back up and turned away to gather up some supplies. “Take your pants off too. Doesn’t Yoglabs have doctors?”

There was a shuffling behind him as Xephos finished undressing. “They were killed in the- look, just, don’t worry about it.” Lalna shook his head. There was a reason he chose not to work at Yoglabs. He turned back around, placing a tray of tools down. Xephos was fully nude and sitting on the table now. His hands rested shyly over his crotch but Lalna didn’t comment. The injury on his hip was visible and that was the important part.

He kneeled down to get a closer look. The uneven bruising spread from Xephos’s hip down to the top of his right thigh. It wasn’t clear if it was one strangely shaped injury or a cluster of them. There were six small round holes in no clear pattern on his hip as well. They were definitely puncture wounds but from what, Lalna couldn’t tell. He opened a bottle of disinfectant and poured some into a bowl to dip cotton swabs in. “You’re gonna have to give me a little more info, Xeph. I mean what sort of infections we need to watch for depends on if metal or claws or something else made these.”

“Metal shrapnel. I think I pulled all the pieces out but, uh, I’m not sure if-“ He cut himself off with a sharp hiss as Lalna started pressing the swabs against the wounds.

Lalna continued undeterred. “Thank you. At least I know what I’m looking at now. How did it make such clean holes though? Regular shrapnel should have shredded you up.”

“That’s classified.”

“Right. Of course it is.”

Lalna continued cleaning the wounds, checking each one for stray objects. They were surprisingly clean and he couldn’t see any shrapnel left at all. Even the bleeding was minimal for how deep the wounds seemed to go. Xephos was clearly trying hard not to squirm and complain but he couldn’t help but jump and gasp as Lalna poked at the bruises.

“Is that necessary?” he asked, annoyance in his voice.

“Yes. It is.” Lalna tried not to smile too much. It was always pretty amusing pushing Xephos’s buttons. “I want to make sure there aren’t deeply imbedded pieces or anything broken under there.” His hands ran over the bruised area, up the side of his hip, down the front and stopping when he got to where Xephos was covering himself. He looked up at the spaceman’s face as he gestured for him to move his hands. Xephos complied, hesitantly, keeping his gaze on the wall to his left to avoid Lalna’s eyes.

Lalna paused when he looked back down. He had never fully examined Xephos before because, well, he wasn’t a doctor and he had never needed to. He had made some notes about each of his nonhuman companions listing any unique traits but this hadn’t even occurred to him. Despite Xephos’s surprisingly human-like body his genitalia was unlike anything Lalna had ever studied before. It was wide at the base and tapered to a thinner tip, making a long, plump triangle shape. Lalna resumed poking around the bruise, slowly, until one hand brushed up against the alien genitalia. To his surprised it curled slightly and wriggled.

“L-Lalna-“

“I’m being as careful as I can.” It wasn’t a complete lie. Lalna knew he would probably never get another chance to study this. It was fascinating, was he the first human to really see how alien the spaceman is? He wanted to see if it always moved like that, how sensitive it was, how far Xephos would let him go. The bruise stopped a good few inches from the genitals but that was hardly important. He moved his hand along the bruise down Xephos’s thigh, then back up to feel around the bottom of the thick base. Xephos gasped and his length wriggled back and forth. Lalna couldn’t help but smile at the reaction.

“Lalna, I d-don’t think you know what y-you’re doing.” Xephos’s voice was tight and his face was turning red. Surprisingly, though, he made no move to stop him.

The scientist grinned up at him. “That’s the fun of finding things out.” He ran his fingers along the bottom, making the spaceman inhale sharply. He made quick mental notes about every detail he could as he continued. The way it tried to curl around his fingers, the viscous fluid making it slippery, the way Xephos was now gripping his shoulder and breathing faster. Lalna wrapped his hand around the base and slowly started stroking. Xephos closed his eyes and moaned, trying to cut off the sound by biting his lip. Lalna felt himself getting aroused and started rubbing the tip, trying to get more noises out of him. He was rewarded with a whine that went straight to his groin.

When he pulled his hand away Xephos opened his eyes and let out a frustrated groan. Lalna stood up and started unbuttoning his lab coat and trousers, all the while watching in fascination as Xephos began touching himself. One hand moved down to his wriggling length, fingers gliding over and underneath as it curled and squeezed against his hand. Lalna wasn’t sure if he was controlling it or if it just moved on its own. Part of him wanted to pursue this question but part of him was too excited and just wanted to get his hands on him again, damn the details.

He stepped forward, lab coat open and pants pushed down his thighs, his hands grabbing at Xephos’s waist and his lips pressing against his neck. Xephos leaned into him and wrapped a hand around his cock, making him moan against the spaceman’s skin. His hand’s movements were light, teasing, giving a couple good strokes then going back to fingertips. Lalna needed more contact and his hips rolled foward into the hand. His lips on Xephos’s neck was replaced with teeth. Xephos gasped and tilted his head back and seemed to momentarily forget about the cock he was holding.

“Xeph, come on, don’t tease me,” Lalna growled between bites. He heard Xephos laugh softly and felt the hand continue to just brush against him. It was getting harder to control himself and finally he just pushed foward, pressing their hips together and rutting against him. Xephos moaned and wrapped his arms around Lalna’s back. He seemed to gain control again after a few moments and moved one hand back down, wrapping it around both of their shafts.

Lalna leaned back a bit from attacking Xephos’s neck. “Oh, oh god, Xeph…” He could feel the alien length wrapping around him. Its movements were anxious, constantly moving and twisting even as Xephos’s hand worked over them. The sensation was new and amazing and Lalna couldn’t stop a stream of moans from escaping his lips. It was covered in the strange fluid now making everything slippery and warm. It was almost like a large wriggling tongue wrapping around him. His hips thrusted forward of their own accord and his moans rose in pitch as he neared his climax. Xephos’s frantic movements and desperate groping hinted that he was getting close too.

Suddenly Xephos went still, squeezing Lalna’s body into his and gasping as he came. It was only a few moments before Lalna followed, hips shuddering and eyes rolling back.

They didn’t move for a minute, both of them breathing heavily and just lazily holding each other. When they did separate Lalna noticed both of their stomachs were a mess of semen and, well, whatever that thick fluid on his alien friend’s genitals was. He’d have to remember to get a sample some time.

He buttoned his pants back up, retrieved a few rags from a nearby chest, and handed some to Xephos. “Well, I’d say you’ll be alright. I didn’t see any shrapnel but come back if it doesn’t start healing within a week.”

Xephos took the rags but didnt make any move to clean himself. He just stared at Lalna and stuttered, “Wh- you- Really? What in the hell was that?”

“What?” Lalna grabbed a clipboard and starting writing something down. For all his acting like nothing strange was going on he was very awkwardly avoiding eye contact now.

“Lalna, don’t-“ He sighed, exasperated. “Do you start jacking off all your patients now? I mean, what happened there?”

Lalna lowered the clipboard and glanced up at him, a sheepish smile on his face. “N-no, I was just, you know, curious.” The smile dropped. “Was that ok? I mean, are you ok?”

Xephos hesitated, then sighed again and looked down to actually start cleaning himself up. “It was fine, Lalna. I guess just a little warning would be nice. Or somewhere more comfortable than a metal table.”

They finished cleaning up, including re-checking and bandaging the wounds. As Xephos got dressed Lalna went over the quickly jotted down notes on his clipboard. “You know, Xeph, I’d like to run a few more tests. If you’re willing.”

“More tests? What fo- Oh.” Now Xephos was smiling sheepishly. “Well, maybe sometime. When I’m done cleaning up the mess at Yoglabs.”

Lalna didn’t stop grinning as he escorted his spaceman friend out of the castle and watched him head back to his own lab. He was already making mental checklists of all the tests he wanted to do, scientific and otherwise. He turned and went back in to start preparing a better test site than the cold medical table, already eager for Xephos’s return.


End file.
